“A woman’s best protection is a little money of her own.” —Clare Boothe Luce, American politician, ambassador, and writer.
I recently saw the movie The Colour Purple and found it deeply disturbing. And while it tackles many issues, I was happy to see the protagonist Celie living free of abuse and humiliation after she managed to become financially independent (she did this by tailoring and eventually inheriting her biological father’s estate).
She could walk away and not return simply because of the option that money gave her. She could walk away from the security of a man and a marriage, because of the provision that money offered her. The movie was set in a time when women in the US had few rights, and almost none, if they were poor African American. While times have changed, certain attitudes haven’t.
While I was talking about the movie to a friend, he gave the example of someone in his social circle who puts her entire salary into the joint account she holds with her husband. The husband resents the wife spending on herself. He guilt-trips her with questions, such as, “What do you need a pedicure for when you can paint your nails at home?” or “Why do you need a hair spa, just use conditioner”. However, he spends liberally on electronic items, which he calls his weakness and his toys. Moreover, he decides where and how their money should be invested, while the wife had no say in it.
Considering the last part, I know someone personally who told me that her husband does all the investing, because she is clueless about it, even though she earns more than him. Clearly, this seems to be much more common than I probably realised.
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