BRAVE. A person I met online called me “brave” during our first interaction on a dating app. This was preceded by, “What’s really wrong with you?” And followed by, “I am sorry this doesn’t work for me”. While I can make sense of the first and the last, the middle always puzzles me. What makes me brave? Brave enough to not bury myself under the stigma of disability. Brave enough to put myself out there, on a dating site, knowing fully well that I would likely be hurt. Brave enough to be sexual. Brave enough to be a man without any sort of comfort that patriarchy provides. Brave enough to just exist. I still don’t have an answer.
It is not uncommon for persons with disabilities like me to be haunted by questions of love. While our external lives are occupied by questions of accessibility, jobs and care, the core internal question remains about the social alienation that comes from our inability to find love. Some of us do find love. In the disabled and the able-bodied world. Online and offline. Others try to find love in different spaces. In the idea of arranged marriage, where society facilitates the matching of disabilities, class, caste and religion. Then there are others who just want to be alone and don’t even have access to these and look to find love in community weddings conducted by non-profits all across the country.
This story is from the August 11, 2023 edition of Outlook.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the August 11, 2023 edition of Outlook.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
The Muslim Question
In the time of polarisation politics and othering, how to respond to the banality of hate?
Voters' Cold Wave
Heat wave, voter apathy and cyclic migration are blamed for the poor voter turnout in Bihar. Political parties are clueless about what impact will it have on election results
Occupy Ivy League
Students protesting in American universities are asking the US government to rethink its policy towards Israel
Left Side Story
Personal attacks, lower voter turnout and the BJP’s determined campaigning: how has Kerala voted this time?
Across the Pir Panjals
The newly carved-out constituency of Anantnag-Rajouri is set to witness a very close contest
Gashes in the Red Sand
Residents of the tribal district of Gadchiroli resist development models that destroy the environment
When Taps and Hope Run Dry
Peaking water scarcity and pervasive groundwater contamination have increased migration from many districts of Rajasthan.
Pilgrim's Politics
Two-time MP from Varanasi, Narendra Modi, is sculpting the eternal city in his image
Under The Model Town
Muslim ghettos in Ahmedabad are dilapidated and neglected
The Master Strategist
The Assam chief minister enjoys popularity both as an administrator and a politician despite his relentless anti-Muslim rhetoric