"DOCTOR, I'm worried that my child comes home from school crying that a couple of boys tease him and hit him. How do I teach my child to hit back?" This is not an uncommon situation in a paediatrician's clinic. While it is absolutely essential to oppose bullying, is this best done by teaching your child to be aggressive? Would we advocate the same solution in a case of domestic violence between spouses? Or a disagreement between siblings. Or between two companies over non-compliance. Or, indeed, between the State and a citizen?
While this context makes it evident that the law is clearly defined in the case of adults based on application of mind, parenting is largely left to "common sense". The latter is oftentimes a knee-jerk reaction and not the application of intelligence but the reflexive response of the limbic brain.
As humans evolved within the animal kingdom, genetics worked on the inherited brain to go beyond the 'fight or flight' binary. This modification was largely in terms of what we call 'higher functions' like rational thought, communication, delaying gratification and, as Yuval Noah Harari popularly noted in his book Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind, the ability to think as and for a large group.
Thus, over hundreds of centuries, our brain adapted itself to settled community living. Children were born in families and reared in neighbourhoods. Laws were developed from practices over time. Laws thrive because humans place the good of the community above individuals; paradoxically, this ensures the safety and wellbeing of individuals.
Perhaps it is the mundaneness of daily life that relegates such basic realities to the background of conscious thinking and dubs them egalitarian. In a five-minute conversation between homework and dinner after a long day, we are all about quick-fix solutions with our children. And we harken back to the binary 'fight or flight' mode that sustained us through our evolution.
This story is from the 21 July 2023 edition of Outlook.
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This story is from the 21 July 2023 edition of Outlook.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
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